2008-01-16

When someone is in love sometimes they love what you love just because *you* love it and they love *you*.

Its like that with water for me. Fred came to me unable to swim and with a real fear of the water. Over the last year hes climbed into boats, at first white knuckling the railings and looking like he might puke. Later he started to look like he enjoyed it during a fishing trip and last month I got him into a kayak and he LOVED it.

I knew he was making these efforts for me. He wanted to love the water because I loved the water and so much of my life revolves around it. He wants to be a part of me and the ocean and lakes and boats and fishing are a part of me. They have been since I was a little girl. I summered at the family cottage as a girl and I think my mother had to pull me out by the hair to get me to eat lunch. I HATED lunch because back then they believed youd have a cramp and drown if you went into the water before an hour was up after eating. I remember sitting by the shore line watching the other kids play and bugging my Mom with, Is it time yet? over and over. I was a mermaid. I was a surfer. I was an underwater diver. I was a fisherman and turtle hunter.

So I am aware that his new found love for the water is because he loves me and I wished that he loved it for himself so that if I am ever gone he can still enjoy its playfulness and majesty. So that even if I am no longer with him we are still sharing and I am not just leading because one day it could stop once the rush of new found love exhausts itself and things settle back down and he becomes just Fred again.

I may be getting that wish. Fred is a ham radio operator and he has a radio that feeds location packets to the internet. You can watch him here:
http://www.findu.com/cgi-bin/find.cgi?call=ka1cqd-12

The link has changed since I last posted it. So Im in work the other day when it snowed. Fred had to travel much further into a storm than I would since I work and live on the coast. So Im at work and I follow him on the internet as he takes his breaks throughout the day as he was working from home.

I smile .. Hes at the storm wall watching at Long Beach and from what I know from experience are that huge waves are smashing against the wall and spraying upwards of twenty feet on an average storm, and this is not an average storm. Then I watch him drive to the Manomet Point where he is next to the lobster pound and its a high point where the lobster men congregate in the morning in iffy weather to decide if theyre going out that day. Its an incredible view that also overlooks a seal pullout. I see him go up there twice that day.

I got home and he didnt mention it until I said that Id seen him and then he shared some pictures hed taken while there. He did it for himself. He wasnt trying to impress me. He had no idea that Id have the time to track him that day.

I think he is starting a love affair with the ocean. I am so very glad that it is becoming authentic in his heart because it is a beauty we can share and I am no longer leading a horse to water. This horse is thirsty! YAAY!


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Ocean Love