Here Be Dragons

2008-03-25

Okee dokee. This is mostly for my siblings that read this. Dad still thinks he owns the Canada land. He has no recollection of transferring it to me for a buck back in 1985 at the same time his sisters picked who to transfer their interests to. Danny discovered this by accident when he found out that Dad was going to write a new will today and suggested that he let us know what is in it rather than keep it all so secret like when you gave Diane the land. (because he gave it to me and never told me. I was in my 30's and found out by accident years later.)

Dad started yelling that he never GAVE me the land to Danny. Danny asked me to call Dad and explain, so I did. I said, "Dad, Dan tells me that you don't remember signing the land over to me as caretaker for the family." Dad said, "Maybe as caretaker but I never gave you the land." I answered, "Well Dad in order to caretake it I needed to have legal access to it. You sold it to me for a buck in 1985. Don't you remember? It was the same day your sisters transferred their ownership to their oldest children, except in the case of Anita. You all did it together. The dates are all the same."

Well he answered, "Prove it. Show me the paper!" and so I did. I faxed them this morning so his lawyer can tell him what it means. He doesn't understand, even having the papers in his possession, that he doesn't own it anymore and doesn't remember transferring it to me or being with his sisters doing the same thing. He misreads the papers I sent him. There are three. One states that he owns the land the day he transferred it without encumbrance from a spouse. Two describes the size and shape of the land and three is the actual transfer. Despite having it read to him he calls me laughing like its phoney baloney and thinks that it says I'm his spouse and that it doesn't say he gave it to me. I explain the three papers but he still insists the land is still his. I asked him to just show it to the lawyer this afternoon. I ask him to have a health care proxy written up too, but that's probably pushing it. He thinks we'll try to put him away or something and some day that might happen but not this day, despite his memory.

The lawyer will be there to help make a will today and Dad is going to ask him about and show him the papers. I hope he doesn't get pissed off and cut me out over this. I never asked for it and it's been a source of problems ever since he stopped paying his old share of taxes and upkeep. He never asked me if *I* could afford the damn taxes when he transferred it to me and all my siblings feel disenfranchised and won't help me.

I got it stuck up my arse from my Dad *AND* my siblings and I don't like it. I wanted to solve the problem by making a trust and putting us all in it. I went to a lawyer, a well respected local lawyer and he returned all my papers and told me to have it done in Canada. He didn't know all the laws for that nation and province. Well I haven't been to Canada lately but I'm hoping to go next year and I'm hoping at least some of my siblings will go with me. I sure as hell won't sell the land back to Dad so he can screw it up with his secrecy again.

I'm nervous about the will too. He is slipping mentally and I hope he doesn't do something foolish like give it away to his secretaries. That's worse case. Best case is he actually gets talked into some estate planning and creates a trust or something for at least some of his property to preserve as much of his assets as he can after his death. It would be nice if he let the executor know that they are the executor too. I was executor on his last will with each of my siblings listed in descending order by birth order after me if I was unable to be executor and I NEVER would have know if one of my brothers hadn't accidently found the will. I don't even know his lawyer and he'll probably hide this will too.

I'm not sure what's worse. The old will that preserved NOTHING of his assets but at least we knew what was in it or this new one that he will probably hide but might preserve something so his inheritors don't get porked with taxes and lawyers fees upon his death.

Whatever .. it's his and he can do whatever he wants with it. I didn't know what he did before and I lived through and I guess I will again. But what my brother wishes my Dad would realize instead of telling everyone it's none of their business what he does is that he impacts people and it IS their business. He impacted me and left me with a hot potato. *I* got the fallout from his decision with the land. *I* had to deal with the hurt feelings, never mind monetary issues. No one yelled at HIM or denied HIM help. I was the one stuck with it. And if he makes me executor again I'll be stuck with his decisions again.

GAAAHHHHH! I'm done .. whatever happens.

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