Well here I go again. My clothes are uncomfortably tight. My main source of useless calories is from drinking. I've broken the daily "visit the Moose" habit but all I did was bring some drinks home and drink them there. Of course daily drinking disturbs my sleep pattern also and so I have to wean myself back or I'm awake all night and miss work.

I just have to admit that I can't drink like other people. Oh, it doesn't keep me from work or doing my daily responsibilities. I don't start until about 8pm and I'm in bed about 11 and there's only so much you can consume in three hours and I'm not chugging. But my body seems to like it more than most other people's. I must get a higher kick or something because my body doesn't want to stop and I really must. I've been fighting this battle since the turn of this century but especially when I had my troubles with the ex and the cancer.

So just like cigarettes I try again and see how far I can get. I know I feel better and have more energy and am sharper at work but my body doesn't give a crap apparently because here I am again. Well I guess you just keep trying until one day you make it. Maybe this will be the time. I was able to not drink about half of each month in January and February but I lost it in March. So here comes a new month and a new try.

On another note the family drama over the land in Canada is improving and I now have 3 out of the 5 of us on the same page. What disturbs me is that I announced our intentions to form a trust to a cousin that also owns a share in the property and I've heard nothing back from her. I don't know if my email went to spam or she's plotting with a lawyer on how to stop me. I have to try to make contact again today. I really hate this.

On an even other, other, note my pap came back indeterminate because of inflammation so I have to reschedule (of all tests to re-do this is a least favorite). The ultra sound of my right ovary showed the left over of a shrunken fibrotic benign tumor on my uterus not my ovary. The Fosomax helped my osteoporosis in my hips and spine but not my forearm. My cancer doc saw nothing to be worried about at my appointment yesterday but there was what he thinks was an artifact in the MRI of my left breast (the original cancer was my right breast) and I need to redo that test as well.

I lost three hours of work yesterday for that appointment that I have to make up and now this. It never stops and as far as the cancer, you're looking for the rest of your life which I found particularly disturbing last night while watching the Barbara Walters special "You Can Live to be 150!" where a centenarian explains that she's had cancer three times and is still going strong. Good God! I would NEVER want to go through that again! When I hear that, 100 years old or not, I feel lucky!

Previous < < | > > Next

No Drinking!