I think sometimes people think they only have one thing other people want such as money, sex, love or nurturing and when you reject that one thing they feel rejected themselves because they think they have nothing else to offer.

Iíve been guilty of this on both sides. Iíve offered what I thought I had to give when they needed something else and Iíve rejected what was offered because I didnít want to be beholding because of something I didnít need and therefore pushed this other person away without meaning to.

Sometimes we only offer what we think we can afford to give away whether or not it is an appropriate offer and then get infuriated when it isnít taken because we donít want to give what it is they really need.

Iím seeing some things that happened in my past more clearly now that I am no longer so emotionally involved. Just saying ..

Fred has gone back to Connecticut to spend some time with his son and I think to get some alone time. It was a real transition for me too, to suddenly have someone there all the time. I think I adjusted better than he did though.

Iím using the opportunity to paint the upstairs floor. The funny thing about that is that I think I picked my daughterís accent wall color. I swear it .. the same color. I laughed when I realized it. I really loved it when I painted it on her wall and it must have stuck when I was looking for my dark red. Itís called claret by Behr at home dep0t.

To be honest I could be cleaning another third of the room as we speak but Iím sick and tired of working all day painting and cleaning. Iím taking a break and it will be easier when I can move stuff onto the already painted area than if I pushed forward now.

So I think Iím going to go watch the Lost episode I taped last night and lay about on the couch instead.


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Lazy Day