2009-04-30

As my father fails so does his business and we are trying to save that too as his only source of income. We are trying to divide the duties of running it between us but itís becoming plainer as we go along that one brother has his own business already and the other is retired with no plans to come out of retirement. His help is temporary. His wife is willing to help part time but this is a task left to me, if we want it to survive.

Until now I havenít much thought about it but I guess my carefree days with Fred have essentially ended. I spend most of my time trying to anticipate what my Dad may do. Even something as simple as asking him to stay where he is until I get his walker can be ignored and I find him blindly weaving half way down the parking lot when I turn around. He wants to stay independent and wants to do everything himself. He wants to take his own pills even though he canít feel the pills in his hands well. He wonít shower or clean.

He wants a lawyer even though we have explained to him that if we are removed he wonít be returned to free will but instead will have a non-family guardian who will not care if he goes to work and who will promptly put him in a home and sell his company. He calls competitors and asks for lawyer recommendations and then calls them asking to meet them in the parking lot of his business as there are too many ears in the office. Itís sad. I then call them back and tell them I am his guardian and please donít respond to him anymore and they tell me that he made no sense whatsoever anyhow.

We try to tell him the truth and he doesnít want to believe it. I wouldnít want to either. His life is taken from him and he is being moved to a nicer, more friendly place but it is still against his will. I hate it as much as he does but itís necessary. He needs 24 hour care. He canít live alone anymore and none of us can be there 24/7.

But he acts like heís a prisoner and I am shocked at his mistrust of us as his children. He totally doesnít trust any of us and never has and itís become so apparent that heís feared this moment forever.


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Mistrust