Sometimes Fred says things to me that just astound me and I wonder how he could have stayed with someone who obviously didn't care about him for so long when I come to my senses and think, "kettle, meet pot".

Yesterday I bought two grave plots, one for me and one next to me for Fred. Fred said, "You're wonderful" and when I asked why he said that his Ex went to visit some family in NY at one point and came home gushing over the fact that they had all gone out and gotten a family plot so they could all be buried together. Not one word or thought about being buried with her husband, just her sister. Really, some of the off hand comments he makes just astound me at how neglected and used he was.

Anyways, yup I bought me a grave plot. I've lived on the same street as Second Church of Plymouth (because it was the second Church in the new colony of Plymouth) since 1983. It has a lovely and very old cemetery behind it that is full of old growth and trees and is really treated as more of a park than a cemetery. It's really quite lovely and I had always pictured myself as one day resting there forever when my time comes.

Well, I should have figured out on my own that it would someday fill up and guess what? I heard through the grapevine that it was almost sold out and soon would only have a few cremation plots left because of water line issues. So I got my arse down to the town agent and bought my plot and Fred's while I was at it. Not even married yet and we are planning to be buried together. It makes me laugh that I find that less threatening than a wedding.

Speaking of which, while we were at the Music Festival of Mountain Jam I dug out a twenty dollar bill and asked an astrologer for a good date to be married in 2009 with nothing major in retrograde. It turns out that July and August both had major planets in retrograde and we wanted a summer wedding. So we backed it up and June 13th at 2:15PM looks good.

So now I have a wedding date and we've made a wedding guest list. I think I want to have my wedding on the beach and then move to a better venue for the reception. I was going to apply for a permit to have the whole thing on the beach but it occurred to me that I'd have to put port-a-potties in my reception area. Not such a good idea even for a very casual wedding.

The thing is that a small informal wedding ballooned to about 100 people very quickly when we included friends. We can't afford 50 dollar plates for that many. I think it's going to be a buffet cook out. I know a roofed outdoors place I can get that also has an indoor function room in case the weather takes a turn.

Why am I so petrified of marrying? It's not Fred. He totally deserves a loving wife and he takes such great care of me. He's scared too and it's not me. I guess our past lives with the wrong people were just that bad and hard to get out of that's it's hard to figure out that the stove isn't hot anymore and you can touch it now. We could go on just like this but we're getting older and if one of us takes a turn health wise I want to be family to each other. I hope it doesn't change anything though, but I would think that it would have to.

I love him but I think we are both glad it's a year away.

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