Here Be Dragons

2008-08-23

I can�t believe how good I feel. Last night was simply awesome! As 7:00PM came closer and closer I grew more nervous but also more excited. My three grandchildren came to see me in a Demolition Derby at the Marshfield Fair and my youngest daughter and, of course, Fred.

I watched the first heat and my first thought was how long it was taking, like 20 minutes, but as it went on I became involved in the drama and then I thought it didn�t last long enough. While they were clearing away the old cars I got ready in my car. I was in the second heat, car number 89. I donned my glasses, my full face helmet and my long sleeved hoodie and I turned the car engine over.

Despite my muffler being sawed off I couldn�t tell if my engine was running with all the other engines with sawed off mufflers roaring. The cars were directed by the officials to line up and drive in. The first six went in straight and formed a line to the right. The next six backed into an opposing line so we were all bumper to bumper. The first move was to back into each other.

I thought my youngest daughter was going to be too late to see me start but I hoped she�d see the end when suddenly I saw people jumping up and down in the stands and it was her! She made it. I smiled and waved and the grandstand thought I was waving at them and they waved back. The crowd started to count down to one with the announcer.

10 ..9

3 . 2 . 1

The crowd screamed and the guy opposite me nailed the gas and I nailed mine and we met in a huge CRASH. The back of his car read HAMMERTIME.

BUT .. after the crash I still had all my teeth and my neck wasn�t whiplashed. I�d been baptized by fire and it wasn�t so bad. I went forward and backward and the car stalled. I wasn�t sure if it stalled because I couldn�t hear it but I had red dash lights. I tried to start it. I couldn�t hear if it caught but it didn�t move. I thought it was all over for me, and so soon, then I remembered that it had to be in Park to start it and I was in drive. LOL! I got it sorted out and the official nodded to me that I could still play because I hadn�t been out of it long enough.

After that I had to restart it after each bang and that was a lot of restarting, believe me. Then I realized it was just me and this other girl left. I'd met her while we were waiting for our heat. She and I were both first timers and both in chevy lumina�s. I�d had enough of backing up. If it was just her and me I didn�t care if I wrecked my radiator. It was time to stop her and turning around would take too long. I backed up put it in drive and hit her in the driver�s side wheel with my passenger side front end ( battery was on the driver�s side) and I kept hittting her like that her until I ruined her front wheel and she couldn't move anymore. I was told it came right off.

Suddenly I was the only thing moving out there. An official ran out and told me to shut it down and told me the flag had been waved and I was the winner.

I won? HAHAHAH! It finally hit .. I WON

The second place winner was waiting for me as I climbed out my window and we hugged yelling, "We won! We won!"

I went and collected a two foot high trophy and the guy said, "Sign here for your money". I said, �There�s money?� and he said yup unless I wanted him to keep it. I won 150 bucks too!

As I walked to the gate I saw all three grandkids, the other grandparents and their friends, four people from the Moose Lodge that I belong to and my daughter and her 6 friends. They all told me that they had started cheering sections for me and I�m pretty sure I heard GO GRANDMA at one time over the noise of the engines. A photographer took my picture for the paper and I told her to be sure to mention it�s one week before my 56th birthday and she just about had a stroke laughing.

My first time, maybe my last time, and I won. Life sometimes is so great.

And I know .. pictures, pictures but right now I�m in a hotel waiting for an Arlo Guthrie concert and tomorrow there is no time either but Monday I will do my best. Hehe .. yannow I hit some poor guy so hard that his radiator exploded and the force of the crash knocked my glasses cockeyed on my face. It was FUN.

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