Here Be Dragons

2007-09-21

Well, my Dad has finally agreed to install a chair lift at his residence. Most of my siblings would be happier if he went to the fancy assisted living but he still has his marbles (most of them anyways) and he�s a stubborn old coot. Once he gets an idea in his mind it�s almost unshakeable. He�s already talking about not using it telling us he needs the exercise. We tell him to put an exercise stepper in his apartment, at least if he falls from that he�s got a fighting chance but down 16 stairs he�d get hurt. Do you know he even argued that point by telling my brother that he�d just slide down the stairs because of the angle!

Our next battle is a cleaning lady. My sister thinks a companion might be better. They clean but not like a housekeeper and maybe do some cooking and setting out clothes and errands but I think he gets enough company at his shop and a cleaning woman once every two weeks would keep that place sparkling. My Dad hides money around the apartment and so doesn�t want anyone in there. Also his dining table has his stuff in a certain order so he knows what medicines and things he�s taking and he doesn�t want any of that moved. I think if we got him a tray that could be lifted with all that on it the person could lift the tray and clean the table. Cleaning woman or companion though, either one is better than what he�s got going now.

Personally I think it will be harder to get a cleaning person in there paid for willingly by my father for his own upkeep than it will be to get him to wear a life line button. He can pretend to ignore it and not wear it but I think he might keep it in the bathroom if I ask with a pretty please. He has phones (home and cell) next to his bed and during the day he has people around.

In any case I�m meeting the stairlift installer Tuesday because my brother scheduled an appointment to meet him and open Dad�s residence for the installer at 11 AM while forgetting that he�s driving our Dad to a doctor�s appointment at 10:30. The guy will measure and then I�ll lock up and return the key and the stairlift will be installed Wednesday or Thursday. My brother will meet him for that.

Thank God it�s getting installed soon. My Father has asked someone to pick him up and drive him to his shop two days in a row now. I know if anyone gets him out he won�t go back willingly. I don�t blame him. I�d want to sleep in my own bed too and he totally denies needing this stairlift. He�s already picking up his walker and just looking like he�s using it.

You know what he told me he�d use the chair lift for? He�s going to send his beer up in it and then walk up. GRRRRRRRRRR! Stubborn old coot!

I have to cry a little though. I remember when he was the biggest strongest Daddy around with a quick mind willing to take on the world. I�d climb on his lap and say, �Make your muscles dance Daddy!� and he�d lace his fingers behind his head and make his arm muscles dance all around and I couldn�t squish them with all my probably 5 or 6 year old strength. He�s got the same spirit but his body is failing him. I don�t want to force upon him these things that he doesn�t want but he needs them. It�s just so hard to push when you know you are presenting an image of him that he doesn�t want to admit to and maybe his false image is what is keeping him going. In his mind he�s still making his muscles dance and I can�t squish them and for now, in a way, he�s right.

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