Here Be Dragons

2008-01-10

I think what I like the most about working is having a schedule once again.

I think what I hate the most about working is having a schedule once again.

Weird ain�t it?

There�s no spontaneity during work hours. No getting up to Hula Hoop or play Guitar Hero to take a break but I�ve been eating better and sleeping better than I have in a long time. Everyone else is working so it�s not like I�m missing something that my friends are doing and I�m not. Plus tonight, although I haven�t had a paycheck yet, was the first time Fred asked me,

�Do you need any money?�

And I replied,

�Nope, I got it.�

Because this is the first time that I knew that the money I spent would be replenished. It�s nice to have a sense of independence again. I don�t know if Fred ever would have got as close to me as he did if I hadn�t become so vulnerable with the lay off and if it didn�t turn out to be so nice to have someone take care of me. But it�s also nice to know that I still want him after I�ve fixed that vulnerability. He still has my heart.

Weight wise wouldn�t ya know that just as I started complaining that I haven�t lost anything I woke up to a two pound loss. That�s my goal, two pounds a week. It�s slow but I will burn fat and not scavenge muscle like last time. I was so weak after I attained my goal weight last time. Not this time .. I�m not on a diet but a healthy life style and I�m amazed at how much you can eat if you stick to fruits and veggies!

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