Okee dokee. Here goes. Dad was with Mom last weekend and she noticed swelling of his ankle. She finally convinced him to have it looked at. He battled her every inch of the way. He was admitted with cellulitis but in the course of his stay they discovered he had a touch of pneumonia in his left lung as well. The whole thing should have been some antibiotics and a short uneventful stay. But NOOOOOOO! He’s so impatient and in so much denial about his health that he bullies my Mom into taking him home and he signs himself out.
Well, this short circuited some social services we kids had hoped to get him and especially we wanted him told by professionals that his stairs are a problem and we want him to move out of where he is or get an elevator. Mostly we’d like him in assisted living until my sister discovered independent living. He really doesn’t need much help once he’s in a safer environment.
Anyways he was soooo crotchety and difficult and behaving so obstinately that my Mom couldn’t take it anymore and even though she signed a paper that declared she would care for him if he was released she plopped him at his work with his secretaries and walked out mad as hell and not taking it anymore. Me, my youngest brother and my daughter arrived at that exact moment. My sister had called and talked to him. He was the rudest most belligerent man ever. She was shocked. He couldn’t hold a rational conversation and his secretaries sure as hell didn’t want to babysit him and it was obvious that he couldn’t go home alone.
He was so unsteady on his feet that he was on the verge of falling any time he got up and he gave us no warning. He’d just pop up and we’d be running around behind him trying to keep him upright and from smacking his head on the floor. Finally we straightened out his medications and told him what he needed to do because everything had been explained to my Mom and not my Dad (I’m assuming this because he knew NOTHING about the antibiotics prescription he had been given) So we sent him to get his prescription filled with my Brother.
My daughter (the nurse) called a family member who does elderly social work and she said he had to be placed back in the hospital in order to complete the social worker evaluation or it would never be done. It had been short circuited when he signed himself out. I called my brother and told him. Dad would fight him every inch. We decided not to help him stay upright and he couldn’t walk the 4 feet to the door before he fell and then he couldn’t upright himself. My brother called 911 for an ambulance and off he went. He had a small cut and a small bump to his head but he was back in the hospital and safe. My Mom thought he’d be safe with us when she left but none of us could just up and leave our lives to care for him that night. I had made commitments to care for my grandchildren, we have jobs and children. We’d have to make arrangements to stay with him not just PLOP he’s yours!
Anyway he’s stayed until the redness was gone from his leg and the pneumonia seemed to be gone (he was oxygenated at 99%) and then transferred to a rehab to get strong enough to walk. I went in and let them know that HIS GOAL is to climb 15 steps and he shouldn’t be considered for safe release until they think he can do that because I don’t know what their goal is but I want it inline with his real needs or some social services assigned like a visiting nurse and a lift or elevator prescribed as a medical necessity.
He’s got most of his marbles left, most of he time, but he has incidents of just refusing to deal with reality and he makes unsafe decisions when he gets like that. My brother discovered that the conference room over a garage that he lives in looks like it’s been broken into. My father refused to listen or discuss it and forbade my brother to make a police report. (Because my dad is living on commercial property illegally, I think) The door is broken and propped closed until we can get it fixed and it just bothers me that he might have been in there when they broke in. He’s blind, can hardly walk and leaves money hanging around. Nothing else appears to be touched but now that they know money is up there won’t they come back?
I am frightened for my father and there is NOTHING I can do without declaring him incompetent and taking over his WHOLE life and frankly he’s not there yet if he’d just change to a safer situation. He has every right, just like anyone, to be a stupid fool until he’s really not in his right mind. Like the doctor said, “It’s not illegal to be stupid.”
He’ll give us thousands but won’t spend a penny on himself. STUPID!